Culch.ie

Sixteen Questions With Kevin Smith

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

[Edited 23/10/2009 to add audio links]

Would you believe that I almost gave up the chance to go see the awesome Kevin Smith and his Bathrobe in Vicar Street last Wednesday evening? Fool!

Kevin entered the stage to an up-roaring applause and set into what can only be described as a whirlwind of discussion, humour and story-telling for over three and a half hours, long after curfew before he was finally hauled off stage by the gate-keepers at Vicar Street.

He discussed his new pledgedom to being a “full-time stoner”, the merits of writing Batman on weed, Ben Afleck’s inability to grow facial hair, working with Bruce Willis, gave advice on breaking into writing and film making, the future of the Superhero and making porn.

With a pen in one hand, a beer I scribbled a snapshot of the evening. [Obviously the post below is not a verbatim transcript but I hope to have an audio link soon]

Audio link: http://tinyurl.com/yjuh68n & http://tinyurl.com/yggbclr

[Twitter Link & audio via @DaveHarper1888 ]

1. On getting into directing and writing

Find something that no-one else has done before  – “find a fucking hole and fill it”

That’s what I did with Clerks. I love Die Hard but I can’t identify with it. I thought, for once I’d like to see me and my friends represented on screen. Then I saw Reservoir Dogs…that first scene, where they are all sitting around a table in a diner talking about Like A Virgin and I was like this fucking counts now? I want to be a fucking film maker.

Now you throw a rock and there are stories of lovable losers everywhere. I started it.

2. On the possibility of a Clerks 3

If I do it, I will be in my 40’s. Clerks 1 was in my 20’s and I felt it represented me in my 20’s. Then I did Clerks 2 when I was in my thirty’s so…

3. On making a Sci-Fi movie

There’s Ranger Danger , essentially lots of dick and farts jokes in space. I’ve written about half of it and it’s very funny bit I can’t finish it right now. Basically Smith & Mews & sex robots in space. One Day…

3. On making Superman the Movie

I couldn’t have made it. I’m not that guy. I’m too close to the subject matter. I’d just write it from a fan-boy perspective.

4. On Singer’s Superman

I loved Brian Singers X-Men II. It worked because he’s disconnected from the source. Of course Singer made X-Men as a Gay allegory – you know, they have special powers and all that but when shit happens the put the dick down and go fight.

No, my script wouldn’t have been better. It was something I wrote in 1996 and it was as good as I could do. The studio pressed me for it and I didn’t do the job. They rang me one day saying “Kevin, we need pages”…I faxed them 60 blank pages and took off for the weekend. With the restrictions it was as good as I could do.

5. On the possibility of making a Horror Movie

Red State is in the pipeline but we just need to find the money. It’s not a very commercial film. There are no heroes, everyone makes bad decisions. It’s an angry bitter film. It’s been really hard, I’ve spent the last three years looking for finance.  Sooner or later I need to nut up and be the guy [look to invest in it myself]. The problem is that a Kevin Smith movie is a really fucking bad idea. Eventually…

I mean I made a movie for $28k – I may have this one down to about $5million.  Of course now I want to make this Hockey movie [Hit Somebody] more than anything. I worry, when I was 21 or 22 I gave an interview saying that I had ten movies in me. Zach & Miri was nine. What if that was a prophetic statement?

6. On bringing the Green Arrow back to life and the guidelines set out by DC

They didn’t really set guidelines…no cum, that was about it. Seriously though, yes there were some parameters: Don’t hit the gay card too hard.

7. Did he get screwed on the NC117 rating for Zach & Miri.

Well I look at the likes of the Saw movies and they literally gore some-one’s head open so when Zach & Miri came back with an NC17 rating I was outraged. I thought if I could get away with the donkey thing in Clerks 2 I could get away with anything. [a person under the age of 17 can get into an R-rated film with a parent or guardian, but cannot get into an NC-17 film if under 17.]

I’ve been before the MPPA Ratings appeals board on three occasions now. Clerks originally got an NC17 rating, I appealed it and got and R. I was there with Jersey Girl too.

Zach & Miri then got the NC17 rating which I almost understood. Before there had only been language, now there’ was language and pictures. The “Shit Shot” wasn’t even a second long. It was 13 frames. There are 24 frames in a second.

You look at Jack Ass The Movie and you have a guy in a helmet that is sealed around his head with a pipe going into it. Then this guy comes along and starts to fart into the helmet. Then he shits in it and you can actually see, I think it was Steve O vomiting inside. The camera pans out and you can see actual matter in the tube.

So I appealed it, I went before the board and pleaded my case…There’s aren’t very many things in life I can do but I can fucking talk. When they came back with a ruling in my favour I was stunned. I was literally outside the board room ready to “make  a deal”.

8. On his fascination with Irish Chicks

“I want to tease the snake our of your trousers and fuck you like it’s St. Patrick’s day.”

(I’ll say no more)

9. On JJ Abrhams’ Star Trek

I saw a rough cut about 10 months before it was released. It rocked. Amazing opening sequence and he even cut a few things on my advice. I wish he had re-shot the scene where old Spock meets young Kirk for the first time. He steps out of the darkness and says “Captain James T Kirk.” I wanted it to be more emotional. He should have just said “Jim”. It was the first time he’d seen his friend in over thirty years and who knows how long since he’d seen him looking like that.

10. On Working with George Carlin

It was a rare privilege working with George. An Absolute pleasure. He was a brilliant brilliant man and I consider him the smartest man I’ve ever met in my life.

I’m glad I made Jersey Girl just so that George could have that acting role despite the slack I’ve gotten for it since.

I gave him the chance to do what he always wanted, the chance to act. I wrote Jersey Girl with him in mind. I miss him, I took a lot from him. It was fucked up. One day George just wasn’t there anymore.

11. On the title of Dogma

It wasn’t intentional that I had Alanis Morissette to play God- the fact that DOGMA is A.M.GOD backwards is a coincidence. Ironic more that anything else.

I always believed God was Canadian. Canadians are so even tempered.

12. On Actors who improvise

I enjoyed working with Seth [Rogan] immensely. Seth is fucking brilliant and when it comes to improvisation he’s the best I’ve ever met, followed closely by Sean William Scott and Tracey Morgan. It can be annoying working with that type of actor but when you get a good one and you’re the writer you get the credit anyway.

It defeats the purpose of hiring someone like Seth if your going to get them to stick to the script. The problem is in the editing room you’re drowning in choices.

Years ago there just weren’t that many great ad-libers around. Afleck [Ben] fancied himself a great ad-liber…and trust me  he’s not a fucking ad-liber.

13. On working with the Weinsteins

Harvey would give me a ‘ box’ [budget] to work in but it would come to a point where the box didn’t cut it anymore and I’d have to go to him for the cash for. He’d say no. I’d say I would pay for it and he’s always back down. He would say”We can’t have the lunatics running the asylum”.

14. Working with a big budget after A Couple of Dicks

People give me a hard time for ’selling out’ and making a buddy cop movie. In truth, I made it for my dad. He’d be so happy I made a “movie-movie”. It wasn’t  a financial thing. The pay was so fucking low. I would have done it for free to have the chance to work with Bruce Willis.

15. The Best, Worst and untold Comics

Best: Dark Knight

Worst: Batman & Robin

Best untold Comic movie: Hands down The Dark Knight Returns. Clint Eastwood could play him.

16. What it’s like directing a ‘porn’

I met with Jason [Mews] and Katie [Morgan] first and it’s couldn’t have been easier to start with.  She [Katie] did porn so it was easy and Mews, well he’s been air-fucking since he was born. He’s been walking around his whole life air-fucking and finally here’s a purpose for it. He was like ‘thank-you’.   It would have been much harder to start with Seth and Elizabeth [Banks].

The View Askewniverse

Kevin Smith’s Twitter page.

Darren has photos from the evenng here.

tagged under: An Audience With.Dublin.Events.Jack Ass The Movie.Jersey Girl.Kevin Smith.Movies.Photos.Ratings.Vicar Street.Zach & Miri