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Published on October 22nd, 2009 | by Darren Byrne


The Apprentice Week Five – What Happened?

Jennifer Quinn Fired in Week 4Week 4 really got on my nerves. I understand that the show needs to make money and needs sponsorship, but Week 4 was a blatant hour long advert for B&Q. The show is The Apprentice – it’s supposed to test the potentials’ business acumen. I can’t fathom how Jennifer browsing around B&Q, while Brendan beats a few paving slabs tests anything.

But that’s an argument for another post. Right now,  I’m supposed to be talking about Week Meteor……sorry, Week 5.

After the demise of Jennifer last week, the teams were beginning to even out again. The girls still outnumbered the lads 6 to 4, but the gap was lessened by the screentime given over to Harvard Boy Accident Prone Breffny.

[Comment From Anthony McG]
Jennifer was rubbish last week

[Comment From Lottie]
Who fell up the stairs?

[Comment From Dr. M ]
haha Breff fell….oh wait I’m a bit late for that….hello everyone!!

Samantha ConroyWith the reduced numbers (5 to a team now) it became easier to follow and there were less places for he wasters to hide. Although, there was certainly no hiding from Sam this week, who has returned to singing for her supper.

[Comment From Peter]
Have I heard correct that there’ll be singing this week?

[Comment From Jamie]
i give it…til after the break until sam sings

[Comment From brid]
there she goes

[Comment From Jamie]
oh no……..i said after the break!!

[Comment From EmilyAM]
Singstar Sam.

[Comment From Gavin]
Who had before the ad break in the over/under Sam singing stakes???!?!?!

[Comment From Aileen]
oh please stop the singing

[Comment From CliodhnaL]
oh god she’s singing again…

[Comment From Jonathan]
oh please don’t let sam sing again

[Comment From Crossan]
Sam singing again, oh christ

[Comment From Anthony McG]
Kill her in the face

[Comment From Dr. M]
Want to slap Sam.

This week, teams were given a camera, sound and editing crew and were charged with the task of creating a new national 30 second TV advert for Meteor.

Steve RaynerMaria took charge of Team Cuchulainn this week, taking Breffers and Geraldine (will they? won’t they?), Steve and Sam under her wing. There was immediate tension between Steve and Psychotically Singing Sam and it was clear that, for Maria at least, this week’s challenge was going to be about controlling them.

[Comment From CliodhnaL]
Shut up Sam

[Comment From Gavin]
What exactly is Sam’s job here?

[Comment From Ciara]
Steve is in trouble

[Comment From CliodhnaL]
Even the camera man is cracking up!

Aoiffe MaddenThere was initially some confusion on the live blog as to who was leading Team Platinum. Was it Aoifffffe? Was it Brendan?

[Comment From Darren]
Sorry – Maria is PM for team Cuchulainn. Is it Brendan or Aoiffffe for Platinum?

[Comment From EmilyAM]

Brendan is PM Darren

It soon emerged that Psycho Eyes (as Brendan O’Connor calls Aoiffffe) was in charge. This left Brendan, Ruth, Lucinda and Ginger Stephen under her control.

Aoiffffe once again proved that her strongest skill is in delegation, giving each member a job and ensuring they all worked well together. The first poll on the live blog had 62% of people thinking Aoiffffe’s team Platinum would win, against Cuchulainn’s 38%.

Unfortunately for Maria, tension between Sam and Steve, as well as Breffers idiocy and Ger’s blind following of the Breffmeister, meant that the live blog’s prediction was looking sound.

[Comment From Anthony McG]
Giving Sam the ‘Production Manager’ title was a bit weird. What’s her responsibility exactly?

[Comment From Darren]
Maybe Steve is afraid Sam will sing at him.

[Comment From CliodhnaL]
Is it time for a break yet? I need tea!

Geraldine O'CallaghanBreffers and Ger were send location scouting and discovered an awful looking back road. Breff was then sent off to do ‘market research’. The fights between Sam and Steve escalated and Maria could do nothing but watch.

[Comment From pluincee]
‘quiet country location’? The commentator has been taking lessons from the Come Dine With Me guy.  

[Comment From Dr M]

Keep gettin confused between meteor and Eircom ads…its all the orange!!

Then came the presentation. Maria, with a pole shoved firmly up her arse, delivered a stiff formal pitch before revealing their ‘fun run’ advert.

[Comment From Darren]
Oh my God – it’s awful

[Comment From Gavin]
oh. lord.

[Comment From Stephen]
i like it

[Comment From peadar]
they have to win

Aoiffffe confidently and cheerily introduced Platinum’s ‘priest’ advert.

It’s fair to say that both ads were terrible, but Platinum’s presentation and follow up questions put Cuchulainn to shame.

[Comment From Ronan ]
Watching this child gender program over on Channel 4, but just thought I’d drop in and say hi! And Americans are freaky. That is all.

The Boardroom

Bill Cullen was less that impressed with both teams (again!). Neither Jackie Lavin nor Brian Purcell had much to say this week. They instead let the contestants dig their own graves.

Bill made it clear that while both ads were poor, Platinum’s presentation was sound, while the tension and disorganisation in Cuchulainn led to their loss this week.

[Comment From Dr M]
wow even arguing in the boardroom

[Comment From peadar]
bref just hung himself

Breffers was heavily castigated by Bill, as he failed miserably to explain his decisions on location, as well as what he did with his three hours on the phone.

Maria Loughran Fired in Week 5Sadly, Maria made the tactical error of bringing Sam and Steve back to the boardroom. She should have known it would only show up her own poor leadership skills. Steve was criticised for not listening to Sam; Sam was criticised for being annoying; but it was Maria who was sent home. She had to be thinking – it should have been Breff.

[Comment From EmilyAM]
Bill feels like firing the three of them.

[Comment From Aileen]

[Comment From brid]
a little socked

[Comment From CliodhnaL]
I actually didn’t see that coming…

Oh, by the  by, did Sam make up a new word this week?

[Comment From EmilyAM]
Sam is flummergasted

[Comment From brid]
did she say flummergasted

[Comment From Peter]

[Comment From Dr M]
heh heh flummergasted

[Comment From Ciara]
new words I’m learning here

[Comment From Darren]
Flummergasted. Everyone else is saying it, why shouldn’t I?

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About the Author

Blogger, writer, movie buff, amateur dramatist and all round nice guy. When I'm not spouting about on Culch.ie, I can be found Tweeting inanities @DarrenByrne or @Culch_ie. I am the admin behind Culch.ie and if you want to contact me for anything, drop me a mail.

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