Published on August 29th, 2011 | by Ronan0
X Blather 2011: Fawnfest
While the opening week of X Factor 2011 was all about the new judges, and showcased little or no talent, this week’s was…exactly the same. But rather than repeatedly highlight Gary Barlow’s scowl, they highlighted the fact that every man in the world loves Kelly Rowland. Yes, that came as news to me too! Sure she has great teeth, but what US celeb doesn’t?
Her post-Destiny’s Child career kind of shows why she was chosen as a replacement for Dannii Minogue on this year’s X Factor. Forever in the shadow of a sister figure, who is more talented and more fancied (not by me, but in general). Kelly is Dannii Mk 2.0 if you will. It would be difficult for the show’s producers to highlight her musical talent as a reason for being on the panel. Go on, name one Kelly Rowland song without a featured artist. I’ll wait while you come up with one. ‘Work’ was #4 in the UK, I don’t remember it either. So instead of that, the producers brought in a string of hopefuls who wanted to admire/kiss/touch Kelly more than sing.
As for the singing…
Well that wasn’t up to much, like last week. The best of the lot was opener Johnny Robinson, a very camp tracksuit-wearer. He was funny, genuine, and a fairly decent singer. Not SuBo blow you away type, but the now all-too-obvious “weird looking person is actually good singer” approach seen on all Cowell productions.
This year’s Paije, or biscuit-factory worker Craig Colton impressed the judges with an Adele cover, and impressed the audience by telling them he was from their hometown (that’s the easiest way to a crowd’s heart. “Good evening Springfield!”). He didn’t impress me too much, but twitter was filled with a rich (tea) array of biscuit-puns for the rest of the evening.
Film director Andrew Bujalski has been responsible for the recent US film movement Mumblecore (look at me making Philip French-style references), and show closer Misha Byron could be responsible for bringing the genre to music. Widely acclaimed online and offline as a tremendous singer, for me, she did little more than mumble her way through Aretha Franklin’s ‘RESPECT’ all the while moving up and down the scale at random. A bit like those early internet usernames such as aCiD_BUrN or Z3r0c00L.
So two weeks down, and we’ve a total of one good act (Johnny), a glimpse at what could be the new JLS (sorry I’ve forgotten their names), and a couple of female singers that aren’t as good as claimed. Still, one promising act is always good. And when he gets a makeover, he could be the next…Lady Gaga, at least I think that’s who he wants to be.