Movie News 20/03/09

Not just the one trailer today, I have a few videos to show you all, along with the other news:- Michael Caine’s new film, Is Anybody There?, where he plays a aging  magician who is spending his remaining days in a retirement home, looks very promising. In it he befriends a young boy who has been bouncing back and forth in homes such as this. Check out the trailer: For all you Star Wars fans, you can now complete your memorabilia collection. ‘The Force’ action figure is a must for any collector:   LeCraic spoke of Gullivers Travels yesterday. Well, it’s soon to get a big screen outing and Doctor Who’s Donna Noble, AKA Catherine Tate is on board. The horror of horrors, Gobstopper – Christopher Lloyd is just brilliant (from the genius Funny Or Die): SNL’s Andy Samberg (from this brilliant(!) music video) has been confirmed as host of … There’s more

The curse of the half watched film

There are the films you’ve watched again and again. There are the film’s everyone’s seen but you haven’t. There are the films you’ve been dying to see but never get round to. Then there are the films you randomly end up seeing only part of, but repeatedly only seeing part of and you never get to find out what it’s all about. This happened to me tonight with Face Off on RTE. I’ve seen the middle/end of this film about 4 times and by tonight it got to be annoying. Who are these characters? Why did they swap faces? How did they swap faces? Why are they all mauling each others faces with their hands. Is there a twist somewhere or have I joined the film after the twist took place? What (tf) is it all about? Other classic continual part-film disasters in the life that is me are: A … There’s more

10 Reasons Why I Won’t Be Going to the Meteors Next Year

1. Amanda Byram Do I really need to explain this one? The woman is void of personality. No, I lie. She has personality. She has the personality of dirty middle aged sweaty bachelor, rather than that of a 35 year old woman. Every single man who came onto the screens, who came onto the stage, who came anywhere near the damn auditorium she greeted with a Phwoar! or some sleezy remark. Show a bit of class and stop behaving like a skank, woman. Bearing in mind that the majority of the show’s audience were young teens, surely she should have behaved a little better than that. Eugh! She makes me want to wretch. 2. The Stewards Lottie asked me repeatedly if I was ok. I was – I just had a confused look on my face every time I watched the stewards try to deal with the public. No, more … There’s more

Tiny Dancer (Hold Me Closer) by Ironik ft Chipmunk & Elton John

Title : Ironik ft Chipmunk & Elton John Artist : Tiny Dancer (Hold Me Closer) Release : 27-April-2009 The 140 character review Good use of the Elton John sample, but it takes all of the focus from the rapping.  Might be just balance but end up not heeding Ironik Will Knott and now your reviews…

Holy bad marketing, Spiderman!

So, Spiderman 4 has been given a release date for May 2011.  I was never a huge Spiderman or Sam Raimi fan so I’m a little hopeful that he’ll look at what has been done with Comic book and Superhero movies since the last one and up his game. In a case of hot body/weird face, maybe Kirstin Dunst should be reconsidered as she hasn’t yet confirmed that she’ll return as Mary Jane.  Personally I could name a dozen natural hot red heads that would fill her shoes perfectly. Anyway, I just happened to stumble across some of the taglines for the first Spiderman movie back in 2002.  For those who don’t know, a tag line is it’s a line that tries to sum up the entire plot, theme and tone of a movie in a single sentence. Some of the lines are so cringe worthy that you’d think they … There’s more

Celeb News 19/03/09

Holy Schmoly Gossip Girls. Gossip Girl co-stars Blake Lively and Leighton Meester cover a new issue of Rolling Stone magazine while seductively sharing an ice cream cone together. Justin Timberlake really is a man for all seasons. Sigh! He successfully transitioned from a questionably styled boy bander to a musically respected pop star. He has opened up two restaurants in Manhattan, Southern Hospitality and Destino, that have both managed to do well. Ha has a  hugely successful clothing line, William Rast. So what next I hear you ask? Tequila of course.  Yip, the man who brought sexy back has come up with his own brand named 901. The reason behind the numeric name? “901 is that time of night when your evening is ending, but your night is just beginning. It is also a subtle nod to his hometown,” says the singer’s spokesperson, referring to the area code for Memphis, … There’s more

Gotta catch all the repetitive strain injury!

It’s that time again, where yet another instalment of the Pokémon franchise is released for the masses of kids, not-so-kids, and adults who are still madly addicted to the game (me included) to rush out and waste their money on as soon as it’s released. Well, nearly everyone… Why is the franchise still going after, what is it now, 14 years? Well, according to the title screen it is © 1995 – 2009, so yes it’s been around for quite a while. It may be that the hardcore fans insist on picking up the latest versions whenever they can, even though it’s the same thing over and over, just in a different setting with a different pool of Pokémon to play you main storyline adventure out with. One thing I do want to point out, is that Platinum is only being released in the US this Sunday (with the exception … There’s more

Movie News 19/03/09

So, because I was in recovery mode for much of yesterday I couldn’t find time to post the Movie News. Sorry… Firstly, spare a thought for the family of Natasha Richardson today. Natasha, aged 45, passed away last night as a result of injuries sustained in her skiing accident a few days ago. She leave behind her husband, Liam Neeson, two children, Michael and Daniel and is also survived by her mother Vanessa Redgrave. Kevin Costner and Tommy Lee Jones are set to star in The Company Men, a drama about the impact that a corporate downsizing has on both its casualties and survivors. They join Ben Affleck, who plays a corporate hotshot whose fancy lifestyle vanishes after he gets laid off. Costner plays his brother-in-law, a drywall installer who gives him a construction job, while Jones plays a senior partner in the firm, a principled man who struggles with … There’s more

Clean up television

I have a simple plan to clean up the standard of programmes on television. Ban any program that in any way promotes the use of a mobile phone or any other kind of phone in. Just think – no more of those cheap and tacky ‘celebrity knockout’ type programmes?  No more eejits dancing on ice or on anything for that matter?  No more Late Late Show!  Heh! That’s that sorted.

let’s call it a failer

It was going to be a movie review. It really was. I shushed the people beside me and concentrated hard. I didn’t buy popcorn lest I chomp my way through a pivotal piece of dialogue and miss it entirely. If my first Culch post was going to be a movie review, then it was going to be damn accurate.  Sadly, after twenty minutes of trailers it seemed that there was something more important to say. Namely, what the hell is with twenty minutes of trailers? I am not that old, but I can remember a time when a trailer was a teaser, the merest tantalising glimpse of what a movie might be. Snippets of dialogue. A five-second, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flash of some vital scene. Not a hint at the twist, just the implied promise that there was one. An actor’s name in block text. A date of release, miles in the … There’s more

the real reason for depression in ireland…?

They say there is a depression in Ireland. I’ve spoke about this before. But sometimes just sometimes people have just had enough. I have. I and you pay our radio telifís eireann fee. And what have the old boys done to cheer up the nation…? To make us stand proud and tall? To give us our Barack Obama moment of hope and glory…? That’s right they gave George Lee alias Mr. Depression his own brand spanking new series… George mate… question number one? Will this programme of yours actually do *anything* for the country…? Me thinks not, horsebox… Me doubts its so very sincerely. I am a very happy chappy George. I’m getting 3 new chickens next week… the last 2 were bad layers Very bad layers in fact. 3 eggs in 4 months. But my niece Lilly [now 5 years of age] liked them… anyhow thats talk for another … There’s more

Words cannot describe…

How much I hate Westlife.  I’ll give it a go anyway. They were on the tele the other night doing nothing more than singing other people’s songs, which is what they do best. They’ve been doing the same thing for about 70 years now and it shows in the enthusiasm of their “performances”.  I may get the names wrong here, so cut me some slack. The one that resembles Pinnochio when he was turned into a donkey was at the end, I think he’s more commonly known as Mark.  He actually looked as if he was about to beat the shite out of the next camera man that panned past him, take out a couple of floor managers and then turn his microphone stand on himself.  That was in between glances of contempt he threw at his adoring audience. The main lead singer one, Shane I think it might be, … There’s more