Tag Archives : Gossip

Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously rifling through Robert Pattinson’s wheelie bin, so you don’t have to. We all enjoy a bit of peace and quiet from time to time, don’t we? Nodding off in the armchair in front of Jonathan Woss, having a relaxing cuppa with half a Twix you found in the glove compartment, a gentle stroll along […]



Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously judging Colleen and Wayne’s baby-naming skills, so you don’t have to. Whenever my taste in movies is judged snobby or snippy, I pull out my populist failsafe, Clueless, and wave it about like Jodie Marsh’s petticoats during a military parade. I do so love Clueless, as is right and proper when you consider that […]

Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously voting for John and Edward, so you don’t have to. There. With the X-Factor reference out of the way, we can get down to the high-and-mighties. Oh yes. I’ve been feeling a little inconsequential this week, a little frothy, like the Matey residue in the empty bath of life. Yes, that bad. So this […]



Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously orchestrating mischievous anti-Moir campaigns, so you don’t have to. I suppose there’s nothing for it but to accept that it’s just that time of the year again. With the X-Factor live shows dominating weekend television like dreams of Daniel O’Donnell dominate your granny’s knicker-buying decisions, it would be rather churlish of me not to […]

Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously fretting over Zach Braff death rumours, so you don’t have to. Y’know, it’s rare you’ll have a slow news day in the sphere of celebrity silliness. There are so many stars out there, and with the paparazzi/their PR people on their backs twentyfourseven, you’re bound to get an instant update whenever an A-lister falls […]



Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously wearing Lindsay Lohan’s new fashion line, so you don’t have to. You would imagine that any gossip column worth the paper t’was spat on would be focusing on The X-Factor this week, what with Simon, Dannii, Louis and Cheryl having finally chosen the twelve horsemen for the apocalypse of Saturday night television. Not the […]

Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously reading Roman Polanski’s court transcripts, so you don’t have to. We’ve got quite a female-centic ragbag of raging oestrogen this week, fellow gossip hounds. Must have been a drought in the cocoa beanfields, or something – as a gurl, I’m no agricultural expert – but for whatever reason, female celebs have been over-shaking the […]



Sweary’s Jaw

Surreptitiously going through Eminem’s summonses, so you don’t have to. I have learned that there’s no point in being high-minded about a gossip column. Originally, I had planned to focus on the goings-on of our more worthy high-profile heroes, rather than on preposterous knobs like Jordan or Kerry Katona. But the problem with such a […]


Celeb News 19/03/09

Holy Schmoly Gossip Girls. Gossip Girl co-stars Blake Lively and Leighton Meester cover a new issue of Rolling Stone magazine while seductively sharing an ice cream cone together. Justin Timberlake really is a man for all seasons. Sigh! He successfully transitioned from a questionably styled boy bander to a musically respected pop star. He has […]